|
REFLECTIONS
Regarding
Responsible Reformation
**************************
He who shall introduce into public affairs
the principles of primitive Christianity
will change the face of the world.
---
Benjamin Franklin
**************************
The universal body of
believers, often referred to as the church, is
"the pillar and support of Truth" [1 Tim. 3:15].
But, has it truly been meeting its God-given
responsibility with regard to the biblical
teaching on divorce and remarriage? Even more
importantly, has it truly been effective in its
ministry and message of reconciliation (2 Cor.
5:18-19) to those who have been victimized and
traumatized by the effects of divorce? Or, has
its message been more one of alienation than
reconciliation? If the church is anything other
than a redemptive, healing fellowship, then
somewhere along the way it has lost sight of its
mission. If its proclamation is not one of
grace, love, forgiveness and acceptance, it has
lost sight of its message.
What specifically are the
responsibilities of the church with regard to
those experiencing the trauma of divorce and the
stigma of remarriage? In an attempt to address
this critical matter facing God's people,
consider the following Ten Commandments with
which the church should seek to comply in order
to promote the healing process, and to possibly
prevent such covenant breakdowns in the future.
These are taken from the final chapter of my 300
page book (which can be read in its entirety on
my web site) entitled
Down, But Not
Out: A Study of Divorce &
Remarriage in Light of God's Healing Grace.
COMMANDMENT #1...
Thou shalt promote
prayerful, in-depth study of
God’s Word on
marriage, divorce and remarriage
in every
congregation of believers in the One Body.
Before the church can
presume to speak intelligently and convincingly
for God on any subject, it must first be
thoroughly acquainted with the entirety of His
teaching relevant to that issue. "If anyone
speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very
words of God" [1 Peter 4:11]. The church must
also understand how to apply that teaching to
the challenges and temptations of daily life.
What was God’s original intent for marriage?
What provisions did He make in the Law of Moses
for the heartless actions of men and women as
they repeatedly violated that divine intent?
What message of grace and healing is extended
through the teachings of Jesus Christ and the
apostle Paul? I'm convinced the people of God
are woefully lacking in this area of knowledge,
and this deficit of understanding is critical in
its negative effects upon those desperately in
need of healing.
Before the church can ever
effectively promote healing, however, it must
promote education. God’s people must know God’s
mind. Without that knowledge, which is gained
only through careful, prayerful examination of
His revealed Word, the church is ill-equipped to
offer the guidance so desperately needed in the
world today. Indeed, it will likely only do more
harm than good, as has too frequently been the
case when ill-informed disciples seek to
"minister" to those who are hurting.
As a part of this
educational process, a local congregation of
believers must insure that all preconceptions
and prejudices, all opinions, traditions, and
biases drawn from one’s religious heritage are
set aside in favor of an honest, open, free
investigation into God’s revealed Truth. Genuine
Truth has absolutely nothing to fear from such a
process; Truth remains Truth regardless of the
intensity of the investigation into it. Only
one's misconceptions and biases need fear
exposure to the light of God's Word. Entering
into such a study with the right attitude will
assure that change will be embraced if one’s
previous position is found to be inconsistent
with the teachings of Scripture. May the people
of God be honest enough and courageous enough to
change, even in the face of criticism, when
God’s Truth is perceived.
COMMANDMENT #2...
Thou shalt take seriously
thy obligation to train up thy young people in
the knowledge of God’s IDEAL for marriage, and
the consequences of failing to achieve it.
Although this is very
similar to the first commandment, in that it
involves education, it is far more specific in
focus. The church has a responsibility to its
youth that when shirked results in the gravest
of consequences. A lost generation can easily
develop through a failure to faithfully impart
God’s teachings. "Train a child in the way he
should go" [Proverbs 22:6] is good advice! The
local congregation of believers should insure
that its youth, from infancy onward, are exposed
constantly to the beauty of God’s IDEAL for
marriage, both in teaching and in practice. With
such training they will be better equipped to
resist the temptations of the world to depart
from the way in which they should go.
COMMANDMENT #3...
Thou shalt not debate and
divide while the distressed lie neglected upon
thy doorstep.
It is said that while Nero
fiddled, Rome burned! In like manner, while the
church debates the numerous personal preferences
and practices associated with divorce and
remarriage, the divorced and remarried
themselves are ignored. Victims are in need of
love, not lectures; devotion, not debate. A
church divided over the issue of divorce is a
church incapable of effectively ministering to
the divorced.
Look to the example of
Jesus. While the Pharisees debated whether it
was right for one to heal on the Sabbath, Jesus
healed on the Sabbath. Jesus did not spend
months in heated debate over the tedious tenets
of their religious tradition; He simply did what
was right! He healed. The church spends far too
much time debating, and far too little time
doing! The time has come for the people of God
to set aside the religious wrangling and begin
living up to their calling. It is time to
promote a ministry of healing, and proclaim a
message of hope.
COMMANDMENT #4...
Thou shalt seek ways to
render practical
assistance to victims of
divorce.
A woman who has been put
away by a faithless spouse, especially if that
woman has children still at home, is probably
going to need a great deal of practical
assistance to face the challenges of daily
existence. She may need to secure employment.
Day care for young children may need to be
obtained. Managing a budget, or coping with
finances, may be unfamiliar territory. The list
of possible concerns, many of which may be
immediate and critical, is endless.
Such tasks, on top of the
stress of the divorce itself, can quickly become
overwhelming. The church must be prepared to
provide immediate assistance to the victims of
divorce who may be temporarily unable to cope
with the cares which have suddenly been thrust
upon them. Don’t wait for their circumstances to
become so desperate that they are forced to seek
the help of the church --- go to them first, and
graciously demonstrate the love of Christ in
action.
COMMANDMENT #5...
Thou shalt utilize thy
members as a resource.
There dwells within
virtually every community of believers several
members who have experienced divorce and
remarriage. Some were victims, some were
victimizers; some healed quickly, others
struggled through the process. The church in the
city of Corinth had within its ranks those who
previously had been sexually immoral, idolaters,
adulterers, male prostitutes, homosexual
offenders, thieves, drunkards, slanderers, and
swindlers. However, they had been washed clean,
sanctified, and justified by God’s grace at work
in their lives [1 Corinthians 6:9-11]. Imagine
the wealth of wisdom and support such
transformed people could provide!
Congregations which
utilize these members to reach out to their
fellow members in pain, and also to the
unbelieving public around them, are wise indeed.
Victims of divorce need loving support; they
need healing; and what better place to find it
than among God’s people. By providing this
living resource to the general public, as well
as to one’s own members, a congregation of
believers not only extends the parameters of
God’s ministry of healing, but also opens the
door for evangelistic opportunities.
COMMANDMENT #6...
Thou shalt allow the
divorced to actively
serve in the work and
worship of the church.
Although the apostle Paul
seems to indicate a man who has previously dealt
treacherously with his wife may not serve as a
spiritual leader to the people of God,
nevertheless the divorced can, and should, be
allowed to serve in all other areas of the work
and worship of the Lord’s church. The Scriptures
do not indicate that a divorce renders one a
second-class citizen in the kingdom of God, or
that it renders one unfit for active service in
that kingdom.
Further, it will
facilitate the healing process of those
experiencing the breakdown of a covenant of
marriage if they are kept active and working.
And what better type of activity with which to
be engaged than service to God and His cause.
Thus, the church should not restrict the areas
in which these forgiven men and women may labor
for their Lord.
COMMANDMENT #7...
Thou shalt associate with
those who
have been divorced and remarried.
Although such a
commandment may seem rather strange on the
surface, it is a sad fact that many of those who
have suffered through a divorce find themselves
ostracized by their fellow believers. Perhaps
believing they might become defiled by
association, some in the church have blatantly
refused any form of fellowship with those they
deem to be "unclean." Such behavior is unworthy
of those who profess to be followers of the
Lord.
Jesus constantly kept
company with those whom the "religious" of His
day felt to be unworthy of their acceptance and
association. The Lord refused to allow these
self-righteous hypocrites to prevent Him from
reaching out to those in need of healing. In so
doing He shocked and shamed the very ones who
should have been leading the way in lifting up
the fallen. The people of God must not become so
righteous in their own sight that they are
unwilling to embrace those who are struggling
with sin in their lives, or who may be the
innocent victims of the sinful actions of
others.
COMMANDMENT #8...
Thou shalt not place
restrictions and burdens
upon the divorced
and remarried that the
Lord God Himself has
not.
Where has God authorized
His people to ostracize those afflicted with the
loss of a covenant relationship? By what
authority are they banned from involvement in
the work and worship of the church? What
Scripture declares them unclean, unsaved, and
unworthy of one’s fellowship? What declaration
of our Lord denies them hope, healing, and the
opportunity to strive for the IDEAL again in a
future relationship?
The Pharisee who thanked
God in prayer that he was superior to adulterers
[Luke 18:11] did not receive justification from
the Lord. Being far more concerned with the
exactness of religious forms and outward
appearances than with compassion for the plight
of one’s fellow man, the Pharisees were
repeatedly condemned by Jesus Christ. Their
legalistic perspective succeeded only in adding
burdens and imposing restrictions upon those
already being afflicted and weighed down by "the
powers of this dark world” and “the spiritual
forces of evil in the heavenly realms"
[Ephesians 6:12]. To inflict further abuse,
rather than proclaiming a gracious message of
hope and healing, is simply to affiliate oneself
with the forces of the enemy.
The church is called to
ministries of reconciliation and restoration; to
be a first-aid station for those wounded and
weary from the battles of life. It is to be the
pillar and support of Truth, not the pillar and
support of tradition or personal preference. The
church must be a community of believers
committed to healing, not hindering; to mercy
and compassion, not legalism and ritualism; to
lifting burdens, not imposing them. "Carry each
other’s burdens, and in this way you will
fulfill the law of Christ" [Galatians 6:2].
COMMANDMENT #9...
Thou shalt listen, not
lecture.
There will be occasions
when one who is experiencing the trauma of a
marital collapse will seek out someone with whom
they can share their burden, and from whom they
can seek spiritual guidance and encouragement.
At such times some are sorely tempted to begin
sharing at length with these "poor souls" the
vast treasures of their own insights. Resist
this temptation! They don’t need a dissertation
on the dilemmas of divorce --- they're living
them! They simply need someone who will care
enough to quietly and compassionately hear them
out; who will allow them to release perhaps
years of unexpressed hurt and frustration.
One of the chief qualities
of an effective counselor is the ability to
listen. Draw them near with words of assurance
and comfort; pray for them and with them; show
them the love and grace of God. In short,
respond to them as Jesus would. As His
ambassadors of grace, we must do no less!
COMMANDMENT #10...
Thou shalt demonstrate in
action the
love, mercy and grace of God unto
those who are divorced and remarried.
If the above qualities are
not to be found in the church, then where may
the afflicted go to discover them?! The nature
of God is to be reflected in the attitudes and
actions of His people. God is love --- we,
therefore, must be a people of love! Jesus is
the light of the world --- thus, we must push
back the gloom and darkness of this world with
the light of His life and teachings.
The people of God are in a
unique position to offer comfort, compassion,
and caring to those who are down, but not yet
out. By lifting them to their feet, providing
them with a safe haven, and embracing them with
the loving acceptance of the Father, the church
can set the fallen back on the pathway to
healing --- and, ultimately, to heaven.
Jesus Christ stated, "You
will always have the poor among you" [John
12:8]. This is no less true of the divorced. It
is a life situation which demonstrates no
evidence of subsiding; indeed, with each passing
year the numbers rise. The people of God are
daily being challenged by this condition, and
the world watches as they respond.
Will the church ignore the
situation and hope it goes away? Will they
debate it and divide over it, while the cries of
the wounded go unheeded? Will they formulate a
restrictive theology that keeps the victims of
divorce at arm's length? Or, will they respond
in love, extend hope, and promote healing? God,
in His Word, has clearly portrayed the IDEAL,
and has displayed how He responds in those
situations where His original intent for
marriage has failed to be achieved. His teaching
is clear, concise, and consistent; His grace is
evident in every passage.
Over the years, the simple
teaching of Scripture with reference to
marriage, divorce and remarriage, however, has
been all but obscured by the construction of a
complex system of theology built largely upon
the foundation of personal preferences and
traditional biases. As a result, the hurting are
not being healed, and the despairing are not
being given hope.
The purpose of my book --
Down, But Not Out -- has always been to lift
high for view once again the simple truths of
God’s Word with respect to marriage, divorce and
remarriage. The time has come to dismantle the
elaborate, tangled labyrinth of theology
constructed by men, and return to the crystal
clear message of hope found in Scripture. My
book is humbly submitted in the hope it might in
some small way assist in effecting that change.
It is also presented with the fervent prayer
that God may use it to open men’s eyes to His
matchless love and grace for those who are
hurting, and that it may serve to facilitate the
healing, and motivate the healers, of those who
are
down, but not
out!
********************
If you would like to be added to this
mailing list, contact me and I will
immediately comply.
If you are challenged by
these Reflections, then feel
free to send
them on to others and encourage them
to
write for a free subscription. I would also
welcome
any questions or comments from the
readers.
The Archives for past issues of
Reflections is:
http://www.zianet.com/maxey/Reflect2.htm
| 
