Old age, I decided, is a gift. I am now, probably for
the first time in my life, the person I have always wanted to
be. Oh, not my body! I sometime despair
over my body ... the wrinkles, the baggy eyes, and the sagging
butt.
And often I am taken aback by that old person that
lives in my
mirror, but I don't agonize over those things
for long.
I would never trade my amazing friends, my
wonderful life, my loving family for less gray hair or a
flatter belly. As I've aged, I've become more kind
to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become
my own friend. I don't chide myself for eating that
extra cookie, or for not making my bed, or for buying that
silly cement gecko that I didn't need, but looks so avante
garde on my patio. I am entitled to overeat, to be
messy, to be extravagant. I have seen too many dear
friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the
great freedom that comes with
aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play
on the computer until 4 a.m., and sleep until
noon?
I will dance with myself to those wonderful
tunes of the 60's, and if I, at the same time,
wish to weep over a lost love... I
will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is
stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves
with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from
the bikini
set.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But
there again, some of life is just as well forgotten ... and I
eventually remember the important
things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been
broken.
How can your heart not break when you lose a
loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when a beloved pet
dies? But broken hearts are what give us strength
and understanding and compassion. A heart never
broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of
being
imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to
have my hair turn gray, and to have my youthful laughs be
forever etched into deep grooves on my face. So many have
never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could
turn silver. I can say "no", and mean
it. I can say "yes", and mean
it.
As you get older, it is easier to be
positive.
You care less about what other people think.
I
don't question myself anymore.
I've even earned the right
to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being
old.
It has set me
free.
I like the person I have become.
I am not
going to live forever, but while I am still here,
I will
not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying
about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every
single day.
Author
unknown!
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