Make-Believe Love...
While the author of this now famous line would defend it on the grounds of realism, one may well ask whether it is realism at all. Dare I suggest that it is a make-believe world in which we may injure others without consequence? “Love Means You Never Have to Say, ‘I’m Sorry.’” It’s a beautiful thought, at least in the context of a romantic movie. It certainly is a consoling thought in real life when we’ve committed a transgression. But what is the end result of such total irresponsibility? Fancified love doesn’t stand up well under everyday wear and tear on human relationships.

The Bible gives us an entirely different thought on the issue at hand. James writes, “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed” (5:16). Far from ignoring the wrongs we have done, God tells us we had better get straight to the business of making them right. If we’ve injured another, our relationships with him and God are in jeopardy and we must take the pains to rectify matters.

Irresponsibility...
Why can’t we just write off the offense, simply shrug our shoulders and say, “He [she] loves me. He understands. He’ll overlook it”? Isn’t that really saying, “Since he [she] loves me, I can get away with murder. Here’s one relationship I can abuse, be reckless with. Here’s an excuse for disregarding common courtesy and kindness.”

“After all, love is blind, you know!” What license we find in that! “Love suffereth long and is kind,” but it is not numb. “Love … seeketh not her own … endureth all things,” but it has feelings. Who is it that is blind when we hurt others without so much as a word of recompense? Perhaps we are the ones who cannot see, who are blind to our crudity, our ruthlessness, our selfishness.

Show me a marriage in which the husband never says, “I’m sorry,” and chances are I can show you a wife who bears a thousand scars upon her spirit. Show me a congregation in which the members never say, “I’m sorry,” and I’ll show you a fellowship that is shallow and characterized more by hypocritical tolerance than by genuine warmth and affection.

Small offenses piled one upon another, kindle a fire that someday a single spark may ignite. A young man who described his father as mean and oppressive, told me how that as a teen-ager he had taken all the abuse he could bear. He said, “I made up my mind to get a gun and go home and kill him. It's a wonder I didn’t.” What we need to do is: clear away the kindling as it builds up with day-to-day infractions. And that’s part of what James is telling us to do in advocating that we confess our faults.
[ Continued... ]

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