"Perhaps," I thought, with a sudden surge of guilt as I reviewed my parenting skills, "an all-too-familiar weakness has overtaken us---that of noticing our children's faults more readily than the things they do well." The incident triggered some self-evaluation.

For instance, I thought, "If I were to hear my recent conversations with my children played back, would I be embarrassed? Would I discover a positive tone in the majority of what I've said to them, or would I find I've been overly critical and carping?"

I carried it a step further. What if I could review recent conversations with my spouse, co-workers and others in general? Would I find my input into their lives upbeat and uplifting? How would my words weigh out?

Let's all ask ourselves the same question. If our recent conversations were replayed, would we be satisfied with what we heard?

As I stated before, we are more likely to notice when individuals, especially our children, fail to perform as we think they should, than we are to notice when things are done right. We often take responsible behavior or performance for granted.

A second fault is that when we do wise up and see the good about us, and begin to offer words of appreciation more liberally, we often direct them to those outside our inner circle.

The Bible even verifies that this occurs, for it states, "A prophet is not without honor, except in his own country,"---meaning, it's easier to praise those who are distanced from us to some degree than the people whose faults and flaws are obvious to us because we live nearer them.

When we do come to the realization that we need to be more generous in the praise department, we should start at home.

One author suggested, "If parents and bosses administered praise more often, psychologists would get a rest from patients suffering from inferiority complexes. We must bask in the warmth of approval now and then; otherwise the health of our self-respect becomes seriously endangered."

The same author went on to say that, as a rule, husbands are blinder than wives to this need. The wife of one prosperous Ohio farmer expressed it this way: "Maybe when I'm a hundred years old, I'll get used to having everything I do taken for granted. As it is, life comes pretty hard when you don't hear a word of thanks for your efforts. Sometimes I feel like copying the woman who served her men cattle food one day for dinner, after waiting 20 years for a word of praise. 'I've never heard anything to make me think you'd know the difference,' she said, when they declared she must be crazy."

Probably all that woman needed to make her happy was a "Thank You," or an occasional expression of appreciation for the good meals she had been preparing.

Being appreciated takes a lot of the drudgery out of housework. I still remember the time I stood washing a huge pile of dishes, while my husband was preparing to leave on a business trip. Before he left, he stepped up behind me, offered a big hug and said, "Thank you for working so hard." Suddenly, one of my least favorite jobs took on some significance.

On the flip side, how many wives remember to thank their husbands for crawling out of bed and going to work every day in order to help support the family?

I don't know of one person who doesn't value a compliment, some encouragement, or a little recognition from time to time.

Telling people of things we admire or appreciate about them is a simple act of kindness. It takes such little effort. The power to do so is on the tip of our tongue.

So why would we be stingy with this ability to make others feel good? The fact is, when we make others feel appreciated, it makes us happy also. One writer has said, "Most of us live such frantic, self-centered lives that we simply don't notice other people's need for encouragement. We're so busy keeping up with our own lives that we don't take time to stop and think how we might touch someone else."

What we must do is develop an eye for discovering what's right about a person, starting with those nearest us. Then we should actively seek ways to express appreciation for the good traits we find.

Someone said that encouragement is "oxygen to the soul." If that is so, I would say, as a closing admonition, "Let's not make people wheeze and gasp for a whiff of it!" Fill their hearts full of it. That way, they won't have to creep longingly up to you and plead, "Praise me!" but VERY SERIOUS!! [ The End ]