Paul took occasion in I Corinthians 12 to set down, in the order of their importance, the list of spiritual gifts. Beginning at verse 28 he says: “And God hath set some in the church, first apostles, secondarily prophets, thirdly teachers, after that miracles, then gifts of healings, help, governments, diversities of tongues. Are all apostles? Are all prophets? … But covet earnestly the best gifts: and yet I show unto you a more excellent way.” Then Paul declares the eternal truth of the “more excellent way,” that even if a man could possess all these gifts, but lacked love, he would be but a discordant noise. If I do not have love, no matter what else I may have, I do not have any worth-while thing.

In this way the Apostle sets forth the absolute supremacy of love and shows how it behaves: “Charity suffereth long and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up” (I Cor. 13:4).

Though love can never be properly described, the perfect example of it will always be found in the suffering Savior who “knew no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth,” but who went willingly to Calvary to atone for the sins of all men. The Old Testament has one vivid example of long-suffering love on the part of a man who, though he lived on the other side of Calvary, puts most of us to shame who live with all the benefits of Calvary and Pentecost.

Hosea was a prophet of judgment in Israel. He had taken unto himself a wife named Gomer, and she had proved unfaithful on repeated occasions. One child was born, but even the blessing of a child did not quiet the wild nature of Gomer, and she went on her unfaithful way, bringing disgrace to the prophet, dishonor to her child, and shame upon herself. Two children followed the first. The one was named “Unwanted,” and the other was called, “No kin of mine.” These are, of course, interpretations of the names, and they meant that Hosea knew he was not the father of the children. However, Hosea had the quality of long-suffering in his love, and he neither put Gomer away nor divorced her. Certainly Hosea had “biblical grounds” for divorce even had he lived under the more exacting New Testament law of love.

The legality of an action is not always the point in question. We do not question that Hosea had the right to put her away had he chosen to do so. We exalt the quality of his love that manifested itself in what he did under these most trying circumstances. Gomer went to the very bottom of sin, left her family, and became a “common woman.” Finally Hosea found her as she was being sold on the slave market. The man of God bought her and took her back to his home and children, not as a slave but as his wife. Why? Simply because his love had a generous amount of that rare quality of longsuffering.

Certainly Hosea was besieged with doubt, as any normal person would be. He exclaimed on one occasion, “A prophet is a crazy fool; a man inspired is a man insane!” (9:7, Moffatt). [* Used by permission from The Bible: A New Translation by James Moffatt, copyright, 1935, by Harper & Brothers.] His love was a love that went the second mile, turned the other cheek, and gave his cloak also; and he lived the other side of Calvary. Shame on any of us who profess the full New Testament experience but lack the quality of long-suffering love! Our love or our Christian obligation may not carry us as far as Hosea’s love carried him. God forbid that we should judge, but we must recognize the greatness of the love of a great man.

“Charity suffereth long.” This we observe is the first quality of love which Paul sets down. Without this first quality, it will do little good to attempt development of the others. All the other qualities which we are to study will be predicated upon this, and without this, there is little need to go further. If we find ourselves lacking here, then now is the time to find the secret place of prayer and there search and dedicate until this love of God can manifest itself in us.

This quality of long-suffering is a part of your marriage vow: “For richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, for better or for worse.” No amount of joking can remove the fact of the vow or the necessity of keeping the spirit of it. Before you say, “I love you,” be sure you can back it up by being long-suffering, for no matter who we are or how lovely our companions may be, we shall all need this quality in our love. And before you look up to say, “Heavenly Father, I love you,” be sure you can back it up by long-suffering love and service.

The next idea at first seemed sinful and wicked to me, and I tried to banish it from my mind, but it persisted. Even my love for God must be long-suffering. “Love suffereth long” is a fundamental truth no matter to whom that love is directed. Long-suffering is the quality of love that does not predicate itself on the acts, actions, or attitudes of the one loved, but is inherent within the one loving. God does not always see fit to bless me every time I ask, but I love him nonetheless. He does not always heal right at the time I pray, but I love him just the same. He does not always allow me to go to preach where I want to go. Many a city preacher, having come from the country, longs for the familiar things, but he learns that God’s way is best. So even my love for God must have within it the quality of being long-suffering. It is not that we suffer God; it is only that our love must have that quality of being able to suffer as long as God sees fit. His will alone is the important thing.

Every person must have his love tested. Each of us must enter our Gethsemanes where we pray God for some other way. Each of us must learn to submit and say, “Nevertheless, not my will but thine be done.” Young people are tested in a thousand ways, and each must answer to God for himself. If you love God you will find it in your heart to suffer the persecutions and misunderstandings of the world that your love for God may be proved. Every man’s love will be tested. Big money can be made on Sunday, and some are selling their souls to make it. A cocktail might mean a sale, but you may be bartering your hope of eternity. Love is long-suffering and desires to do God’s will no matter what the price. Love forsakes everything to follow the direction of the holy Christ.

Love is willing to be persecuted and denied for his sake. If you and I do not have this quality of long-suffering in our love for God, we do not really love him at all: We will allow the winds of adversity to drive us from our duty unless we have a love that suffers long. The early church had it and “loved not their lives unto the death.” Sixty million Christians during the Dark Ages had it and died martyr deaths. Young people who refuse to go with the sinning world prove to that world that they have this quality in their love. Love is long-suffering, and it will stand abuse and misunderstanding. Love goes right on loving even when it does not understand.

God’s way is best; if human wisdom
A fairer way may seem to show,
‘Tis only that our earth-dimmed vision
The truth can never fully know.

We shall never fully understand God’s will and way, but we will keep right on loving, for love has the ability to suffer long.

But what about my love for my fellow man? Do I really love him? Quite glibly I can say; “I love his soul.” It requires no great effort, and certainly nothing of long-suffering, to love a man’s soul. A man’s soul will never cross your opinion. A soul will never be a stumbling block in your path. A soul will never speak out in opposition to you. Oh, it is easy to say, “I love his soul.” That means exactly nothing. Had Christ taken this attitude, there would have been no Jesus, no example of his sinless life, no teaching, no cross, and no redemption. He does more than “love my soul.” He loves me. He manifested that love in more ways than we shall ever be able to comprehend. No, you will not find it hard to be long-suffering toward my soul, because my soul will never put your love to the test. But how about being longsuffering toward me? I believe I can detect your attitude toward me much more quickly than I can toward my soul. You may say you love my soul, but if you hold me at arm’s length I shall have a hard time believing you.

When Peter came to Jesus on one occasion and asked how many times he should forgive, I suppose Peter had something in mind about loving a man’s soul. Certainly he did not have in mind a long-suffering love that would continue to love and forgive a person who transgressed against him. The Jewish law said to forgive three times, and Peter wanted to excel the law, so he asked, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Till seven times?” Surely this was a generous and “Christian” attitude, he thought. But Jesus answered, “I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven” (Matt. 18:21–22).

The standard is high, and the quality of Christian love cannot be limited by any law. It is a love that suffers long. It is true that forgiveness cannot be completed until it is asked for. Forgiveness is not a one-way street. It is equally true that no one can be truly Christian unless he has the spirit of forgiveness, whether or not forgiveness is ever asked for. The Christian forgives in his heart before forgiveness is asked, or whether or not it is ever asked. Though forgiveness can and must be a reality in the heart of the offended, it cannot be a reality in the heart of the offender until the offender asks for and receives the forgiveness that is waiting. No one can ask until he recognizes his error.

A Christian must not withhold forgiveness until the offender becomes convicted of his guilt. It is unchristian to hold an unforgiving attitude. Stephen, while being stoned to death, prayed, “Lord, lay not this sin to their charge.” That, my brother, is Christian forgiveness. Jesus prayed while hanging on the cross, “Father, forgive them; they know not what they do.” There we have our example.

Love is long-suffering toward our fellow man. If he sins against us seventy times seven times we must forgive him in our hearts, even if he never asks forgiveness. If he asks, we shall already have forgiven in our heart, and so it will be easy to make him feel the grace of our forgiveness. No man with the grace of forgiveness in his heart demands the humiliation of the offender. If God demanded that of us, we would be on our faces in the dust until, by his mercy, he called us home. Only a carnal nature demands that the offender “get down on his knees” and ask forgiveness. The Christian has already forgiven and rejoices when the offender comes to receive the forgiveness already granted, because forgiveness given and received means the restoration of their blessed fellowship. Thus God deals with us. “God so loved … that he gave his only begotten Son” that through his Son we might see his love and willingness to forgive our transgressions. Dare we demand of our brother who has offended us, more than God demands of us who so often have been offensive to him?

We remember Jesus’ teaching concerning the man who owed so much that he could not pay, and so asked his king to forgive him his debt. The king granted forgiveness, but he who was forgiven went out and beat a fellow man who owed him a small sum. When the king heard of this, the offender was called back and delivered to the tormentors. The account concludes with these words, “So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses” (Matt. 18:35).

If there were more godlike love in the world there would be fewer divorces, less gossiping, lying, adultery, cheating, church trouble, and war. Love is the answer, love that is long-suffering. Nothing short of this kind of love will develop the patience Jesus spoke of in Luke 21:19, “In your patience possess ye dour souls.” Only as we develop this love can we possibly develop the patience by which we possess our souls.

Look for a moment at the way carnality defeats a man. Look for instance at what jealousy does to a person. If I am jealous I cannot have peace, cannot possess my own soul, cannot really love, because jealousy does not rejoice in the good fortune of my brother but desires what my brother has. The same is true of greed, envy, hatred, unforgiveness, or any other sin of the spirit. One cannot have perfect love and a carnal spirit. Carnality asks, What do I get out of it? Carnality fears that someone else will have more honor or more of this world’s goods. Carnality does not know peace and is incompatible with love. You cannot overcome carnality by fighting against it. To be carnal means simply to be concerned first about the things of the flesh. You will continue to be carnal, no matter how you fight, until you yield to the Holy Spirit and allow him to possess you completely. There is a dedication of self so complete, so absolute, that you want God to have first place in your life, and are happy in a love that gladly suffers for his sake. The Prodigal Son found a little of this kind of dedication in saying, “I am not worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired servants.” Peter found this love in requesting that he be crucified head downward (according to tradition) because he felt himself unworthy to die as the Lord had died.

Paul found it and just before his execution could say without bitterness or malice, “I am ready to be offered up.” Multitudes have found this long-suffering love and have even been glad to suffer for the sake of those toward whom their love was directed.

A man and his wife had lived devoted lives for some time, and then without warning or reason the wife suddenly lost the ability to control her mental faculties. Sometimes doctors do not understand why these things happen, but every doctor keeps trying to help. The husband took his wife to the best he could find. He traveled with her, took her to familiar places, willingly paid any bill that might help the woman he loved, but nothing seemed to help. Finally one day while he sat beside her she fell asleep, to awaken after a while and gaze rather blankly around until her eyes fell on the face of her husband. Mysteriously her reason had returned as suddenly as it had left. She looked at him and said, “Darling, I have been on a long, long journey. Where have you been?”

Very gently and with tears filling his eyes, he answered out of a long-suffering love, “I have been waiting for you.”

That, I believe, illustrates what we mean by long-suffering love. That is the way of God’s love toward us. We may go on a long journey of sin, but he keeps loving and waiting for us. We may go on trying to run our own lives and ignoring God, but he keeps on loving us just the same. God’s long—suffering love calls us through the person of his dear Son. He calls us through the Bible. He calls us through his children. He calls us through his Holy Spirit. Have you not journeyed far enough away from God? Do you now feel him calling you home? If you will but yield to the Holy Spirit in simple prayer and dedication you can know the peace of God and have perfect love.

Doubtless whole books could be written on each of the several qualities of love which Paul enumerates in this chapter. “Love envieth not,” he says. We wonder how love could envy the object of its affection. Love strikes a deathblow to all envy. “Love vaunteth not itself.” We are made to see that genuine love could not boast or brag. What is more obnoxious than to hear one bragging about his attainments, generosity, humility, or love? Such is no love at all but a carnal display of self. A spoiled little girl who was not getting the attention she wanted said to her mother in the presence of important guests, “Mother, what was that I said yesterday that was so funny?” The child’s self-assertiveness was not different from that of many carnal adults who constantly put themselves on exhibition.

“Love is not puffed up,” Paul adds. It is unpretending and humble, and it cannot be proud. The young preacher who complainingly told his senior that he was not being appreciated and that he felt he was qualified for a larger place received a just rebuke. “It is bad enough to think such a thought,” the old man said, “but to speak it is unpardonable.” He who seeks after the larger place, or for any place whatever, only witnesses to his lack of humble love. “Love is not puffed up.” Love knows how to be abased and how to abound. Love knows how to take the humble part and sit down, not in bitterness, but in kindness and good spirit. Love knows how to be spat upon, give its cloak also, go the second mile, turn the other cheek.

Chapter IV
Love cannot be Selfish

In school I memorized a poem called “The Glove and the Lions,” in which the story is told of a young woman who through vanity threw her glove into a den of lions, expecting her lover to recover it for her.

The leap was quick, return was quick,
He has regained his place;
Then threw the glove, but not with love,
Right in the lady’s face.

Whereupon the king arose to say:
“In faith,” cried Francis, “rightly done!”
And he rose from where he sat;

“No love,” quote he, “but vanity,

Sets love a task like that.”

There can be no trace of selfishness in love. Where selfishness dwells, love is absent. This truth Paul indicates when he declares: “Love is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own.” Observe how closely knit together these qualities of love are. Love never does anything that is unbefitting or unbecoming. Love is able to lose all trace of self. People lied about Jesus, but he never defended himself. People persecuted Jesus, but instead of defending himself or retaliating he died for his tormentors that they might be saved. Love is selfless. “Love seeketh not her own.”

First, let us consider that love does not seek her own way. I once heard of a church that wanted to install a baptistery, but one brother opposed the idea. Finally the church voted to install it anyway, the men of the church to do the work. Accordingly, the day and hour were set to begin the construction. When the men arrived at the appointed time to begin, they found the brother who had opposed already there with work clothes on and tools in hand. They said, “But you opposed this idea. How does it happen that you are here?” He only answered, “I did and do oppose it. But I am only one, and so I must be wrong. I am here to work for the good of all concerned.” How beautifully the attitude of that brother expressed the truth that love does not seek her own way. Some years ago when called of God to become a pastor of a church in a large city, and not desiring to go, I found a bit of poetry, which I would share especially with the brethren in the ministry:

I said, “Let me walk in the fields,”
He said, “No; walk in the town.”
I said, “There are no flowers there.”
He said, “No flowers, but a crown,”

I said, “But the skies are black,
There is nothing but noise and din”;
And He wept as He sent me back;
“There is more,” He said, “there is sin.”

I said, “But the air is thick,
And fogs are veiling the sun.”
He answered, “Yet souls are sick,
And souls in the dark undone.”

I said, “I shall miss the light,
And friends will miss me, they say.”
He answered, “Choose tonight,
If I am to miss you, or they.”

I pleaded for time to be given;
He said, “Is it hard to decide?
It will not seem hard in heaven
To have followed the steps of your Guide.”

I cast one look at the fields,
Then set my face to the town;
He said, “My child, do you yield?
Will you leave the flowers for a crown?”

Then into His hand went mine;
And into my heart came He;
And I walk in a light divine;
The path I had feared to see.
—George MacDonald

This author certainly speaks the language of one who is possessed of a love that seeketh not her own way.

We look to the cross to find the perfect manifestation of Christ’s love, but I often wonder whether the cross is really that manifestation. The cross with its agony is certainly the consummation of Christ’s divine love, but I wonder if we do not find the real essence of love in Gethsemane. It was there He faced the supreme decision. There he “sweat as it were, great drops of blood.” To appreciate fully what happened in Gethsemane, we must remember that Jesus was not yet sentenced to be crucified when he prayed there. Jesus was making the decision to take the sins of the world on his own heart and allow whatever sentence those sins demanded to be passed upon him. The sentence was death, not by a cross, even though the cross was the implement of torture, but by a broken heart. I seem to see the unfathomed depth of love in Jesus as he prayed, “If possible let this cup pass from me; nevertheless not my will but thine be done.” Here is love at its loftiest height. May God teach us to pray as Jesus prayed and live in such manner that we too can say, “My will is of no consequence. God’s will and way are of utmost importance.”

Jesus could have been king on earth. But love bade him refuse the little crowns of the world that through suffering and death he might become “King of kings and Lord of lords.” “Love seeketh not her own,” and nowhere do we find this truth so manifested as in Gethsemane.

Second, love does not seek her own position. Jesus did not want to be an earthly king. “My kingdom is not of this world,” he said. Pity the poor soul whose kingdom is of this world. Some men’s kingdoms are circumscribed by the dollar sign. Others have their kingdom in fine clothes. Others’ kingdom is evidenced by nothing more than their so-called good times. He whose kingdom is of this world says, “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we may die.” But they have it wrong. They may eat, they may drink, and they may be merry, but there is no maybe about the last. Tomorrow they will die. “It is appointed unto man once to die.” If your little kingdom is only in this world, in what will you trust when death comes rolling in like a cold and clammy fog?

We are told that in the moment of death, Queen Elizabeth of England (1533–1603) cried out, “All my possessions for one moment of time.” In sharp contrast to this woman who had everything of this world stands a woman to whose side I was called in her hour of death. She had nothing. When I asked what I might do for her, she only said, “Just tell me the story of Jesus.”

Queen Elizabeth had her kingdom of this world. The woman to whom I ministered had no kingdom of her own, but the kingdom of God was within her soul. Let us not deceive ourselves into thinking that the things of this world can satisfy.

The Jews made this horrible mistake when, blinded by their sinful hatred of Jesus and crying for his blood, they declared to the Roman governor, “We have no king but Caesar.” In their blindness they wrapped themselves in the shabby garments of earth, allowed hatred to drive out the last trace of love, denied the sovereignty of Almighty God, and demanded the death by crucifixion of his only begotten Son. Life without love is hell, and a man with no love has hell in his heart where love should be.

Love seeks not her own position in this world. Love seeks first the kingdom of God. James and John missed this when they came asking that they might sit one on the right and one on the left of Jesus when he came into his kingdom. How blind they were! The kingdom was there and could have been theirs, but they were so blinded by their carnal ambitions that they could not see the king even as he stood before them. They loved him in a selfish sort of way. They were quite willing to follow him, if in return he would give them a big place. Judas missed it, too. He wanted position and finally concluded that he was missing it in Jesus. To him Jesus became dull and uninteresting. Jesus talked of crosses, persecution, and death, while Judas wanted position, wealth, and fame; and so he turned to the priests and betrayed Jesus in hope that the priests would give him the worldly position his carnal heart desired. For thirty pieces of silver, he sold his hope of eternity. Soon he was to lose his thirty pieces of silver, his desire for worldly position, his life, and his miserable soul. He did not know how to love and so allowed his affections to become perverted, to go after the things of the world. Instead of his love being selfless it was all self. Any person who is all wrapped up in himself is too small a package for any good.

How many have missed the train to life and happiness! The preacher misses it who seeks a church of his own choosing. The worker misses it who attempts to select where he will work in the kingdom instead of allowing the Lord to place the members as it pleases him. Love seeks no position, but quietly serves as a member of the body of Christ, allowing itself to be directed by the Holy Spirit. Not many would choose the difficult areas of the world to work in, if it were a matter of preference. Not many would become missionaries if it were left to choosing a place of comfort and ease. God has missionaries and other consecrated workers in his vineyard because they love him and can hear his divine direction. A middle-aged couple once stood in a congregation where I was pastor and declared to all present that God had laid upon them the burden of the ministry. Then to the utter amazement of us all, they said, “We have just prayed the Lord to send us where no one else wants to go.” The Lord did send them to such a place. They were his “chosen,” and he gave them success.

Thirdly, we would point out that love does not seek her own comfort. It is so easy to seek the comfort of the flesh—easy to miss prayer meeting which would comfort the soul that we may stay home and comfort the flesh—easy to miss the Sunday-night services and the joy of helping to save sinners from eternal loss. The church never isolates herself from the people, but the people often isolate themselves from the church. So often the person who is bent on comforting the flesh becomes cynical and bitter because he has neglected the most important things and settled for that which can be only temporary at best. He who comforts the flesh to the neglect of his soul is carelessly ignoring Jesus’ command to “seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness.” Love seeketh not her own comfort but will often compel us to leave our comforts that we may comfort another. This quality of love causes us to cease pleasing ourselves that we may please others. A doctor in Los Angeles, California, a brilliant and consecrated eye surgeon, found that one of his fingers was a hindrance to him as he performed certain delicate operations. Disregarding his own comfort he had the finger amputated that he might better serve suffering humanity.

Love seeketh not her own comfort. If it did, Jesus would never have left heaven or gone to Calvary. Love seeks nothing for itself. Francis of Assisi once said, “No need to walk somewhere to preach unless we preach while we walk.” We would cautiously add, No need to preach at all, unless our lives are so unselfishly lost in love that our preaching is nothing more than words set to the music we have written by our living. Fine oratory may persuade the mind and move the will to certain decisions, but only love leads a soul to God. “Love seeketh not her own.” This deeper experience can be known only through the sanctifying presence of the Holy Spirit. He instills the holiness that causes us to love through his divine presence. The blessed Holy Spirit not only enables us to keep the temple clean, but he beautifies it. By his presence our lives can be made in the image of our Lord in good deeds, long-suffering, kindness, and selfless love.

David Livingstone had this love. He was a medical doctor by profession, an explorer by inclination, and a missionary by choice. He explored the heart of Africa, always ministering to the African people wherever he found them. He gave his life to Africa because he was possessed with a love that “seeketh not her own.” Finally he died in an African village. When the English came to claim his body and remove it for burial in England, the Africans surrendered the body, but they had already reverently removed the heart and buried it beneath a great tree. Said they, “You may have his body, but his heart belongs to Africa.” Probably they were right.

God so unselfishly loved the world that he was willing to see his only begotten Son come to this world that the world might be saved. Jesus came and without complaint gave himself for us. His heart was broken on Calvary because of the weight of our sins. He died and on the third day rose triumphant over death. He ascended to be again with the Father, but he still loves us and has sent the Holy Spirit to convict men of sin and to abide with those who confess their sins and find God’s sweet forgiveness.

If anywhere in this world there can be found a love that even approaches the love of God, I would be constrained to give attention to it. There is nothing to be compared with it, and I find a complete response in my own soul to this love that seeketh not her own.